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Work to Live, Don't Live to Work
17 February 2010
By Nick Dickens
We've had several posts on work life balance , taking holidays and enjoying our jobs, but today I am celebrating and riding a cloud of good feeling (to misquote Sam Witwicky, I am not being over-confident it is just that my low self-esteem is at an all time high). So I'd like to add my penny's-worth and 3 rules that have really helped me redress the balance. The reason for this extraordinary good feeling - today is exactly a year since I got engaged (for the sake of argument call it my fiancéversary) at Walt Disney World Florida, in the Magic Kingdom, next to Cinderella's wishing well - it was, magical. But I digress, if you want the full story, you can read it here. I am very happy being with my fiancée and it was the right time for us to get engaged and since then everything has been slowly falling into place. We've moved back to Scotland because we are thinking about our long term lives and also our careers, but career is not everything. I had an uncle (close friend of the family) who gave me a very good piece of advice when I was a kid, and I have never forgotten it. We were talking about my family, my parents who he loved and it was around his wedding anniversary (possible ruby), Nicholas (this is before I was known as Nick) if I can give you one piece of advice for a happy life, he said, it is:
"Work to live, don't live to work".
This was filed away and somewhere at the back of my brain, as I was struggling through a PhD (or at least the write up) I had a moment of clarity and it came back to me. Since then I have shaped my career on this principle. I am a dedicated and loyal member of staff on any team and I am reasonably successful in my career, but it doesn't run my life (not since my PhD), and do you know what it IS brilliant, I enjoy my job and my life I am very, very happy (sorry if that is sickening to anyone).
I know that research can be more of a vocation than career, but I am not my job. To finish with, here are my 3 most important extra tips for having a happy work/life balance, or as I prefer life-work balance:
- Plan your work time and take days for your own ideas. This one came from reading the Google biography, schedule in 20% (1 day a week) where you will just play with ideas and projects that interest you, that don't necessarily fit in with your PI's goals. As long as the rest of your time is planned your PI doesn't even need to know, you'll be up to date so they won't even notice.
- Take all your holidays - even if you don't go away, spend some time at home doing something you enjoy. DO NOT use this time to catch up on papers, etc. it is holiday. The exception to this is if you are carrying some over for a reason, for example I kept as much as I could for my honeymoon this summer.
- Don't check your work e-mail at home (unless you are working at home). If you can have a second mobile that is for work-only contacts. This way you can switch off at the end of the day and do something different. Keep work to working hours and life to the rest.
Does anyone have any more tips for a happy and successful career (and life) to add to the list? Or anything that you disagree with?
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Tennie Videler17 February 2010 at 09:45 PM
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Hi Nick, I can see what you are saying to prevent work taking over everything... but I have to say that I've always been quite happy with a lot of blurring between work and the rest of my life.... I'll happily talk about what I do at parties etc and check work email at home. I am lucky that I used to love my research and still enjoy what I do now. I do draw the line at reading work email on holiday though and this tends to be the once a year complete emptying the head of work...
Blanka Sengerová18 February 2010 at 05:29 PM
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A well put post, Nick, I agree with you on pretty much all you said. After spending my PhD years living in Sheffield when my boyfriend (now husband) was in Surrey, I would also add that for your and your partner's sanity and happiness you should try and avoid doing a long-distance relationship indefinitely. I have met people who have chosen this route as a way of both getting a permanent position, but having done the long distance thing for 3 years, I think you can only do it for a limited time. Once children come into the equation, I suspect it would bring the balance even further towards family than it is with just two of you, but that would make for a whole new thread! To expand on your "Work to live, not live to work..." mantra... My brother has handed in his notice about 3 months ago and is currently on a six month trip skiing across Norway (south to north). He may be able to go back to his job afterwards or he may not, and I am not sure I would be quite so brave to just head off into the unknown. But I think his philosophy, with which he describes the trip, is very much in agreement with your mantra/sentiment. He says that: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, skis in one hand, camera in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOOHOO - What a Ride!!! " I hope the wedding goes well in the summer and you have a good time on your honeymoon (well deserved holiday time!! :o)).
Matthew Salois21 February 2010 at 07:54 PM
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Great advice Nick. I am especially in awe of your engagement at the Magic Kingdom!!! That must have truly been a *magical* experience! (by the way, the glass slipper detail was amazing!) In regards to your post, I found my first two years of PhD study miserable. I would often bring schoolwork from the office to the home -- there was no place that was a refuge from work. Studying until 1 or 2 in the morning was not uncommon, which created unhealthy sleeping patterns and a awfully bad diet of fast food. Then in my third year I instituted a rule -- leave studying for the office and take no work home. This required me to be up early and put in a full day in my graduate office; sometimes I was there from 8am to 8pm. However, at least when I was home I could truly relax. So I think it is of the utmost importance to have the home as a place that is free from work. Just as there is a separation of church and state, I believe the home-work separation must be clearly defined -- especially when there is a family (partner, wife, and children) in the picture. Priorities must be made. When at work, prioritize your labor towards getting the job done in a timely and quality fashion. But when at home, prioritize your life and your family.